#Moving Forward

Saturday we took the boys on a little hiking excursion.  2.53 miles didn't seem like a big deal, until you were dragging along two little boys with much shorter legs, who didn't necessarily walk in a straight line staying directly on the path.  As much as they jumped downed trees, hid under bridges to scare their mama, followed rabbit trails down to the lake... 2.53 miles turned into a lot more for those little legs.

 

About 3/4 of the way into the hike, the older boy stopped and just laid down on the trail, in the fallen leaves.  He was all done.  No more energy to finish this path.  It took a lot of encouraging from his mama to get him up and moving forward.  We couldn't stay there.  We had to finish the hike, since our truck was parked at the end of it and we were sitting in the middle of the woods.  He finally got himself together, trusting me when I told him we were almost finished, and moved forward.

 

One thing me and the hubs figured out was how much ground we could cover quickly if we put the boys on our shoulders and just started hoofing it.  We moved much faster and covered so much more ground! 

 

 

The problem was, my 4 year old is not light.  And I am not a football player or an acrobat.  I got tired!  So I could only carry him but for so long and then I had to put him down to walk on his own.

 

 

What a great illustration for me in my own life!  God has a very specific path that is made just for me.  My path is not too far for my short legs to go.  If I stay right on the trail He has marked for me, I won't grow too weary to finish.  But like my boys, I too get distracted by rabbit trails, downed trees and anything else that may float down the creek and catch my eye.  A lot of times these distractions come in the form of trying to please others, trying to earn God's approval or dealing with a heavy dose of self-doubt.  The more I veer off the path, the more weary I get.  Until I finally just lie down on the path, in the fallen leaves.  All done.

 

 

  That's when I drop all commitments, push people away, shut my bedroom door and sit in the corner between the wall and my nightstand wondering why I feel so exhausted and empty.  All done. 

 

 

But God.  When I stop and open His Word, and read the promises He has just for me, I am encouraged!  When I make time to sit in His presence and just talk it through with Him, I am refreshed!  When I trust in Him, I can begin moving forward! 

 

 

And unlike me and Ty, when I climb onto His shoulders, He doesn't get tired of carrying me.  We can cover so much more ground, so much faster when I allow Him to carry me.  I am able to move forward with Him without growing weary!

 

 

 

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will fly up on wings like eagles; they will run and not be tired; they will walk and not be weary.  Isaiah 40:31

 

 

Blog hopping with Proverbs 31 today.

 

 

 



2.53 Was a Little Ambitious

Mama was craving some cool, crisp, clean air and wide, open spaces so we went hiking on Saturday.  It was beautiful!  The sky was blue, the leaves were changing and I picked out the perfect "moderately difficult" trail.  I guess my mind was stuck on running, and I felt 2.53 was not long at all.  Like what would it take us, an hour tops?  I forgot about Ty's little short legs.  We did a lot of riding on shoulders, lying in the leaves, had some pep talks and ate a picnic lunch for "injurgy."

 

I know it was a tough hike for the boys.  But they completed it! 

 

 

Leaf fight!

 

 

Conquering Beaver Lake Trail!

 

B's Tiny Tim picture.  God bless us every one!

 

He was all done here.  Just dropped to the ground.  Had to have a major pep talk to keep moving.

 

He loves me so much, he will follow me out to the middle of the forest.

 

 

Walking across a ravine.  Fearless.  We did have one B wouldn't do.  A creek.  He and J were going to jump it.  But a last minute decision had J hurtling B over the creek where I gasped as he hit the ground on his feet.  It was awesome!  And incredibly crazy!  If I wasn't trying to keep Ty from falling over the bridge as he watched his leaf race another leaf he threw in the water, I would have nixed the idea pronto!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our friend we met on the trail.

 

 

The boys were out within 5 minutes of leaving the park.  What a great fall Saturday!

 

Unstickable - Psalm 36:7

My Ty has a major dislike of stickers.  He also doesn't like stamps, vests, jackets or the nametags they attach to his shirt at Sunday School.  I'm not sure what the issue is.  He even had a tough time with the wrist band required to go through the corn maze at the apple orchard a few weeks ago.  My little guy doesn't like to be branded.  He doesn't necessarily want to go along with the crowd.  Telling him that "everyone else has on their Cubbies vest" does nothing to convince my little rebel that he too, should don his little blue vest with the patches.  He doesn't even like sticky hands.  After eating Honey Nut Cheerios, he goes straight over to the container of wipes and cleans up.  He doesn't want to be sticky.

 

 

God doesn't want us to be sticky either.  He doesn't want us to accept the world's branding.  He doesn't want us to go along with the crowd.  Maybe Ty is on to something, here.

 

I have read the passage in Philippians 4 on contentment numerous times and always came away a little confused.  Paul talks about how he has learned “the secret” of being content in all circumstances, but I really didn’t get what the secret was.  I kind of felt like he left me hanging.  Where was the secret formula?  I wanted a 12 step process.  A task list I could check off and declare I “got it.”  I appreciated the verses and his point of view, but I couldn’t figure out how I could also get there. 
 

I’ve been doing a bible study at home called A Confident Heart and it’s been all up in my business.  I come across as a pretty confident person, but in my recent floundering with job and purpose, I have been feeling very lost.  If I’m not an executive assistant, fixing everything at work, then where is my value?  If I’m not a runner accomplishing weekly long runs, then where is my value?  If I’m not head of a committee at Braden’s school, then where is my value?  If I don’t have everything figured out in my marriage and our finances, then where is my value?  It’s very daunting when God reveals that all of your self-worth has been wrapped up in accomplishments and performance and then He peels all that back.  You end up very exposed.  He has showed me a ton during this Bible Study so far and it’s been tough.  It’s also been very freeing.  Kind of like cleaning out my clothes closet of unused items, items with a negative connotation, and items that stare back at me and tell me I'm not the right size to wear them, I am holding items in my heart up to God and asking if they are worth me holding on to, or am I just trying to please others?  When Ty comes downstairs fully dressed for church without me having to ask him, and he is wearing a superman T-shirt and I wince; am I really concerned that God cares about him not wearing a collared shirt, or am I really just afraid others will think I'm not being a good Mom because my kid is not dressed "right" for church?

 

I’m not sure if you are familiar with the Max Lucado book about the wooden people and the stickers.  The lived in a world where you either got star stickers or gray dot stickers stuck on you.  Star stickers if people thought you were good, or did good things, and gray dot stickers if they didn’t.  This one wooden guy kept striving for star stickers but always received gray dot stickers instead.  After being covered in them for so long, he felt worthless and sad.  Then he met a girl who didn’t have any stickers and asked her how that could be.  She introduced him to their Maker.  The one who hand crafted them and loved everything about them.  It ended up that the more time the wooden boy spent with his Maker, and the more he learned how his Maker loved him and cared for him, the more stickers fell off him.  The stickers no longer mattered and if they didn’t matter to him, they didn’t stick.  He became unstickable.

 

What a wonderful story!  I recognize that sometimes when I go on Facebook or other blogs and see the list of accomplishments, activities, and stuff that others have or are doing and I don’t or aren’t doing, I feel the gray dot stickers taking their place on my heart.  I realize that I keep trying to impress my Maker with accomplishments and performance hoping He will give me a bunch of star stickers.  But I've missed the point.  It’s not about the star stickers at all.  The stickers don’t matter.  What matters is our Maker’s love for us, for who we are.  How he pursues us just as he made us.  How he isn’t impressed with our accomplishments.  He just wants us to spend time with him and begin to see ourselves as HE sees us.

 

That is the secret that has alluded me in Philippians.  It’s the relationship, not the task list checked off.  God has given me Psalm 36:7 to meditate on this week. 

 

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!  People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

 

It’s about the recognition of what I’m trying to fill up my heart with, and the realization that only God can fill it .  And when I get rid of the clutter and allow the living water to fill the wells of my heart, all those stickers flitter to the ground and I too, am unstickable.

Blog hopping with Proverbs 31 today.

Running, Haircuts and a Stinky Sink

Yep, that about sums up our weekend!

 

We had a great time cheering on the Winn's Church runners this weekend at the 5k and 10k.  We had so many sign up and run that we won some money for Operation Christmas Child!  Right on!

 

 

 

 

My handsome guys.  Pre-haircut.  We went in for an $11 trim.  I took Ty to the restroom and when I got back, yikes.  B had very little hair left.  Apparently me and the stylists opinion of a "skaters cut" differs slightly.

 

Don't you hate it when life interrupts your happy?  A pipe under the sink got separated and for an entire day, it was sputtering contents from the garbage disposal into the cabinet under my sink.  Then the lovely pieces of yuck food just sat.  We noticed the smell too late.  J fixed everything (thank goodness!) but the smell remains.  It really interrupts my happy when I walk into the kitchen and get hit with the wall-o-smell.  Ugh.

 

We have slathered baking soda, bleach, Windex, white vinegar spray... nothing seems to work.  Finally J had the great idea to put some coffee grounds in there.  His reasoning, if it covers the smell of cocaine...!  And you known what?  It really did make it tolerable.  Much more than all the cleaners we tried.  Thanks, Babe!

 

Thankful he cares about my happy.

 

On to Monday!

 



Tasks vs The Heart - Part 2 Isaiah 49:23b

I already did a post with this title, but I thought the title fit well here too, hence the Part 2.  I'm learning a lot in my current Bible study called A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.  I'm digging deep.  Asking God to reveal some deep rooted issues in this seemingly confident gal.  I have become very good in developing my confident persona.  What I'm finding as I examine myself in this study is that my heart has some dark corners in the basement.  And when things like discontentment and insecurity pops up and take me by surprise, I'm starting to understand where its coming from. 

 

A lot of my confidence, my self-worth, how I value me, stems from accomplishments and performance.  Ouch.  When I look back to moments I felt valued and confident, I'm seeing a pattern of it being wrapped up in an accomplishment.  Running a half marathon.  Getting a promotion.  Losing weight.  None of this is being confident in who I am.  Its all confidence in what I did.  All of a sudden, the insecure feelings I've been dealing with lately are not so mysterious.  My life has gotten incredible simple the last 6 months.  A major job change, some health issues, cutting back activities... when I'm no longer performing well or accomplishing much, I'm struggling with value.  With self-worth.  God and I need to do some fix'in.

 

This revelation about my life hit so hard this morning, I could barely wait until B got out of the shower before I sat him down to just tell him, just make sure he knew, without a doubt, that my love did NOT depend at all on what he does.  On his grades in school.  On how well he plays sports or how many memory verses he learns, or his performance in choir.  Nope, not at all.  I told him that our little family would not be complete without him.  Just him.  How much I love his personality, his humor, his place in our home.  How, even if he got bad grades and hated sports, we would love him just the same.  Those things are good.  But they aren't necessary at all.  I told him that Jesus loves and pursues us and wants to know us.  He isn't impressed at all with what we do or how we perform.  He is interested in who we are.  Our hearts.  And that Daddy and I feel the same way about he and Ty. 

 

I just wanted to be a hundred percent certain he knew that.  Its so easy to get caught up in what we do instead of who we are.  I want B to know we love him for B.  And I want God to show me how to just BE and not to always have to DO.

 

Praising B for a good grade on a test is a good thing.  But I shouldn't be near as excited as when he tells me about Ty waking up in the middle of the night last week scared and having a bad dream.  And how B climbed down from the top bunk to see if he was ok.  And how B named all of Ty's stuffed animals and told him that each would protect him while he slept.  And how B kept talking about the stuffed animals, and lining them up around his Ninjago printed sheets until Ty fell back asleep.

 

Or how Ty prayed for his brother's ear infection to heal every single night until the antibiotics ran out and the ear was better.

 

Oh, how I need to be sure I'm praising my boys for the things that matter most!  And I need to watch what I'm finding my confidence in as well.  Its not that I shouldn't have goals.  But the lack of goals should not determine my value.  As Renee says in her book, to get out of the shadow of self-doubt, all we need to do is turn toward the light. 

 

Then you will know I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.  Isa. 49:23b

 

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere, so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.  Heb. 10:35-36

 

Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  Jer. 17:7

 

 

Alright Melissa, WAY out of my comfort zone, here!  Trusting!

 

 

My Gaps

My devotion this morning talked about gaps.  Gaps are the places in our lives that leave us longing.  That we aren't very content in.  That we aren't successful in.  And that we can't fill ourselves.  I've got some gaps.  Boy, do I have some gaps! 

 

One thing I'm learning these days is to pray for God to show me things through His perspective.  I get very frustrated with my gaps and want God to just free me from them completely.  And when that doesn't happen, I tend to lose hope a little, that I will ever be free.  But if we were always perfectly content here on earth, would we even long for our real home at all?  I forget very quickly that this is not my real home.  Some desire will always remain because perfection is not found on this side of heaven.  And that's ok.  We can still have hope because through our struggles and through our faith in spite of our longing, we are in the process of perfection.  Jesus wants to present us to God as pure and blameless.  Eventually. 

 

Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. -- Col 1:22

 

With our eyes on him we can continue to praise him through the gaps that serve to remind us of our need for Him and our desire for our heavenly home. 

 

In the meantime, I will thank him for the work he does in me.  I will continually ask him to create, renew, restore and grant me a willing spirit to keep moving forward through my gaps.

 

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit. -- Psalm 51:10-12

The Task vs. The Heart

My Bible study this morning talked about how easy it is to become consumed by day to day busyness and miss out on really getting to know your kid's hearts.  Oh, how I am guilty of this!  Sometimes, when they are trying to tell me something, I am answering with, "ok, now please go feed the dogs (for the third time!)."  Granted, sometimes the little person being instructed is just trying to procrastinate doing the task at hand.  But a lot of times, I am telling them that the task trumps all.  Is that the message I really want to send?  That busyness is the correct way of life?  That I don't have time to stop and really listen to them because I need the To-Do List met.  Ugh.  I'm not liking that!

 

 

Is it more important that they brushed their teeth, made their beds, ate their vegetables?  Or is it more important that Ty let B have the big bowl of cereal since he knows B prefers it, or that B helped Ty put on his shirt when his head couldn't fine the right hole?

 

 

Of course teaching my boys responsibility is important and a huge part of parenting.  But I need to really watch the message I'm sending to them.  Its tough when we only have a few minutes in the morning and a few in the evening to teach them everything they need to know.  But making sure I stop and recognize their kindness or putting down the dishes so I can walk in and see just which matchbox car is faster, rather than saying "uh huh" from the other room; that shows my boys what's most important.

 

I asked God this morning to help me put aside the task list, just for today, and really focus on my boys hearts.  Not what they look like, act like, or talk like.  To push away from busyness and see the good that's happening right under my nose and between my barking instructions.

 

What I found?  That during the wrestling match going on while the boys get themselves dressed, I see two little ones learning how to be friends, making a brother connection that will last their whole lives, even when I'm gone.  As the noise stops and the whir of Crest Spin Brushes fills the hallway, I see a big brother helping a little brother rinse off his toothbrush and turn the light off for him.  If I wait long enough, through the argument over the remote downstairs, I see two brothers calm down and compromise while eating breakfast together.  I see a bigger explaining to the little a football play.  I see kindness.  I see them working things out in real life all by themselves.  I see God working in their little hearts.

 

 

 

 

 

When I slow down, and make enough whitespace for the days to go by a little slower, I can enjoy getting to know my little guys and watching them grow closer to God.  And that's much more important than making sure all of their clothes pins are moved to the "done" side of the chore chart.  Yes, the chore chart is an important part of their physical growth, but it has its rightful place and I want to make sure the heart issues come first!

 

 

Lysa Terkeurst says when we do this, "Perfection will seem much less important.  Your kids will feel secure knowing you care and want to know them on a heart level." 

 

Oh how I want this for my boys!  To make sure they know I love them, not just love what they accomplish.

 

 

Lord, I am definitely guilty of allowing life to get in the way and seeking perfection.  Especially in my kids.  I tend to look over the fact they are building brother bonds while I sit and watch the clock and fuss at them for not going faster.  Lord, help me to discern when its time to act and time to relax and let them be children together.  Help me not be so busy that I miss getting to know their little hearts.  Thank you for grace when I mess up.  Thank you for loving me anyway.  Help me show the same mercy to my kids.  Amen!

 

 

Linking up today with Courtney at Lil Light O'Mine!

 

#ONEBIGTRUTH

 

Teaching my children TASKS.

VS

Teaching my children's HEARTS.

 

 

 

Haybales, Apples and Goats, Oh My!

Saturday we headed up to the mountains for some apple-pick'in, goat-feed'in, hay-bale'in fun!  My sister and her sweet crew came up to hang out with us and we caravanned up route 231 through some beautiful farmland and mountain views.  One of the things I most love about living in Central Virginia is you can drive 2 hours east and be at the beach.  2 hours west and be in the mountains. 

 

 

 

I think my favorite part of the whole day was feeding those little goats.  They were precious.  I want one.  Maybe he could help J with all the grass cutting in the summer? 

 

 

I loved how they had little signs about the goats with their names and what kind they were.  The kids were calling them their "little super heros." 

 

Cosmo was my favorite.  He would stand up on the fence to get your attention.

 

Ty would see one of the goats by itself and say, "Mama, he is lonely."

 

The barn was only a 5 minute hike down the road from the festival.  Completely worth it.  Even with tired-no-nap-Ty.

 

Even though it was about 88 degrees and didn't feel very fall-ish, the leaves were still changing and the apples were ready for picking.  Sorry Mo, couldn't order you any fall weather this weekend.

 

Trying to be a good money-saving mama, I had packed us lunches and snacks and water bottles.  And yep, they were still in the cooler on the kitchen counter when we returned home late that afternoon.  I figured out I had forgotten the cooler about an hour and a half into the trip.  FAIL.  It took me a while to get over it.  We grabbed subs and chips at a gas station on the way up the mountain.  We still got to picnic outside with the Bluegrass playing, so I couldn't let it ruin my day.

 

 

Little butt trying to follow big brother.

 

A creek?  And rocks?  Yes, please!  B walked around the rest of the day with a soaking wet shoe.  My boys.

 

You can't see it very well, but my Ty is bravely wearing his wrist band that let him back into the hay bale maze.  He was not happy about this.  Ty has an aversion to wrist bands, stamps on the hand, vests with patches or anything else that has to be on his body.  I feel its a success in this challenge if he keeps his shirt on most of the day.

 

My crazy and cute little sis.

 

Look at that little sweaty head.

 

Yep, he's picking his nose.  And why I know I'm made to be a boy mom?  I died laughing about this for 10 straight minutes.

 

BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

They looks so OLD!

 

 

My little sweaty family.  So thankful!