Thankful for Today

I'm choosing to be thankful for the timely visit from my sister and her family.  Although its tempting to focus on the sadness I will feel as she leaves to go home 6 hours away tomorrow, God arranged for her to be here THIS particular week.  A week I have been under tremendous attack by the enemy.  She has spoken truth, encouragement and hope into my heart this week and I am so thankful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm thankful for the running feet I heard upstairs in the hallway this morning as I sat in "my place" at 5:30am talking to God and watching the sky turn pink.  The thump thump thump of little feet on the steps, the sleepy head peeking around the corner of the kitchen to see if he will be told its too early to be up.  The mop of unruly bed hair tickling my chin as I squeeze him close in his tight legged PJs that will no longer be cool here in a few months. 

 

 

I'm thankful for my hard-working hubby who won't be able to run the thousand errands I have tomorrow with both boys in tow.  As much as I wish he were with us, I'm so proud of him and how hard he works.  I'm so thankful for a stable job that provides for this family.

 

Thank you Jesus for today.

 

Fear

  I have been very out of sorts lately and trying to figure out where exactly “my funk” is coming from.   God spoke to me this morning about fear.  How fear in things I can’t control is consuming me and my joy.  I have a lot of things going on at the moment that I am absolutely not in control of.   I’m stressing out about family issues, afterschool care for my boys, health problems that won’t go away and things I can’t fix in my own power.  I have allowed negative, irrational thoughts run through my mind like a bad movie reel.  

 

 God spoke to me this morning out of John 14 and Psalm 139 and how Jesus comforted his disciples at a time when things were about to turn for the worse.  Their new world was seemingly about to come crashing down.  Yeah, we rode into town on horseback, with singing and palm leaves.  But all of that glory is about to turn into pitch black darkness. 

 

But peace!  Right when we feel things are completely out of control, we must remember that not one thing is out of His control.  He’s got it.  I’m working this year on not living in fear.  But oh, how I want my kids in a bubble!  How I want them to stay under my roof and to always need Mom!  But this is such a selfish attitude!  And I’m teaching my kids not to trust God?   That's not what I want!

 

"For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

 

None of us will be here, not one day more, than what God has already planned.  So worrying about my kids obsessively, and keeping them from experiencing things in life will not add to their lives.  It will only teach them to fear life and not to trust God's got everything under control.  It could even cause them to not live the abundant life God wants for them.

 

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  You believe in God; believe also in me.  

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:1-2, 27

 

Jesus told his disciples that things were going to get dicey down here.  The more out of control we feel, the more we need to press into Him.

 

I am really going to have to work on this.  I believe God is calling me to stretch in this area.  Oh, I do not want to, God!  But I do want to obey and trust you.  Lord, help me to pray for my family and then truly trust that you've got them.  That means not worrying about them constantly and helping them become more and more dependent so they can make good decisions while standing on Your truth.

 

I lose my breath just typing these words.  Anxiety overwhelms me.  I actually have to remind myself to take a breath.  I'm terrified as to what God may ask of me to gain victory in this.  I had no idea how deep rooted this fear has become.  It has truly stolen my joy.  But God can uproot and throw away this ugly fear in me.

 

When I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind You shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

Casting Crowns - In Me



 

An Epic Battle

Last night the big boys went to basketball practice and Ty and I stayed home.  It was a tough day.  Ty informed me when he walked in from school that he got in trouble three times for not listening.  I told him that I got hollered at work a bunch of times.  I looked forward to hanging out with my little guy, who still thought his mama was pretty awesome.  We had some supper, took a quick bath, put some comfy PJs on and then prepared for battle.

 

Our opponent?  The evil bad guys made of pillows on my bed.  The weapon of choice?  Why swords, of course!  We had an epic battle - good guys versus bad guys.  Good guys won because we are amazing sword fighters. 

 

After bringing down the evil-doers, we piled them up high and jumped on them.  We threw Blue onto the pile too, he loves it.  Tubby just growls and gets under the bed.  Party Pooper. 

 

Since both of us had some attitudes to work through from the school and work day, sword fighting pillow monsters in our PJs was a perfect after dinner activity.  We got a lot of frustration out and then watched Sophia (since the bigger guys were not around to make fun of us for watching a "girls" show) on my bed with some post-teeth-brushing popcorn before bed.  Hey, sometimes you gotta live a little.

 

We read two books that Ty picked out by himself, Donald and the Magic Stick (almost an every night choice at the moment), and Planes (not Disney, but actually a board book that he stops to count every single thing on every page). 

 

We said prayers, sang a song of his choice (Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, yes, in February), had 3 or 4 "one last kisses" and "one last hugs" and was down for the night.  Not a bad end to a rather rough day.  I love 4 years old.

 

 

Would You Rather

Last Saturday I had a great opportunity to spend some one on one time with my serious, stat lov'in, mop head, B.  The sun was out, it was above freezing (a rare day indeed, this winter!) and we had been planning a visit to our little town's library.  I asked B if he wanted to walk into town instead of drive and he was game.

 

We took his backpack and a bag of chips since he is a growing boy who played hard in a basketball game that morning.  My B is one of the smallest on his team this year, but as his coach says, he is "the biggest guy on defense."  Yeah, that's right!  He is also super fast, knows the rules of the game and can dribble past almost anyone.  He's got a lot of his Daddy in him, as he coaches from the floor.  Ha!  I'm positive he could be an excellent coach, or a sports announcer, with his good looks, fun personality and love of knowledge of sports.  Get ready, ESPN!

 

 

Go, number 5!

What a great way to spend time with my oldest son!  No pressure to talk, since we were hoofing it and just enjoying God's sunshine.  I'm beginning to learn that these no-pressure times, with not a lot going on, are the best times to talk with B.  The car ride after school just breeds a lot of "fines" and "nuth'ins."  We did play a game called "Would You Rather" all the way into town and back.  Its a game where you ask the other person to decide between two things.  Would you rather be rich and famous and die early, or broke and happy and live a long time?  Not all our questions were so morbid.  Its a fun way to get to know your kid, though.  He doesn't mind Mama's twenty questions when its a game.  I learned that B would rather be out of shape and really smart than physically fit and not very intelligent.  I learned he would rather be rich and famous and have a short life, because he's already asked Jesus into his heart and knows he will go to heaven. 

 

My B never stops surprising me.  Not with his young wisdom and definitely not with his choices in books.  We came home with three football stat books, of course, but also a Spanish/English dictionary that he was very excited over.  This book is huge and he is carrying it to school and back to read during free time.  He says he wants to learn Spanish.  Such a neat kid.

 

 

The statue outside the library.  He started the town paper.  I can't remember his name, but I'm sure B does.

 

After we got our books, we stopped over at the local grocery store and got two of the old-fashioned glass bottle Sprites for the walk home, my treat.

 

Such a fun afternoon.

Freedom in Weakness

Last night, Ken Ham, the founder of The Creation Museum, debated with Bill Nye on Evolution versus Creationism.  It was a good debate with a lot of information from both sides.  We decided to take Braden with us to watch it live at church.  I wanted B to see a Christian scientist on TV.  I wanted B to see that you can love science and invention and still believe God is the creator of the universe.  I wanted him to understand that although evolution is the only thing taught in public school, it is not fact.  It is actually just a theory based on one man's opinion of how the earth came into existence.  Opinion is not truth.  It is very important to me that my sons understand these things early.  I want them to be confident going into these issues at school.  The Bible is an absolute.  We have absolute truths.  We have absolute right and wrongs.  We can be confident in this because the Word of God does not change. 

When we arrived, B was the youngest one in the audience by far.  There were some teens there playing a game while we waited for the debate to begin and Braden was very interested in being a part of their group.  I walked over to him at one point to talk to him and he took off, not wanting to be "with Mom."  Now Dad, on the other hand, is definitely considered cool, being a youth leader, so he was ok to be with Dad.  As we sat down in our seats and the opening statements began, B was sitting by his Dad and leaning forward like his Dad.  Watching intently, like his Dad.  As the night wore on, and the debate ran LONG, his posture changed.  My 8 year old began leaning on Mom's shoulder.  Sitting cross legged in the chair and leaning in to have his back scratched by Mom, or his hand stroked by Mom.  The more tired he got, the closer he snuggled.  I enjoyed every second, of course; these few and far between moments with my oldest.

Often times I think about my heavenly Father and draw comparisons between my relationships with my sons and my Father's relationship with me.  How often do I tend to stand on my own two feet when things are going well.  When my energy is high, a project is new and fresh.  How easy it is for me to just keep moving forward and skip sharing the details with God.  But, oh when the days are LONG, or the project is becoming tiresome.  Oh, when I become weary.  I lean in.  I lean in on my Father and invite him into every minute of my day.  Needing the back scratch.  Needing the hand stroke.  Needing the comfort that only my Father can give.

My Bible study this week talked about our body and its "flaws."  How God did not give us flaws as a curse.  What we may see as a flaw, or something we don't like, may have a very good and practical reason to be.  When I think about my weaknesses and really pray about them, asking God why they are there, he reveals that without them, I most certainly would over-do, over-achieve, and fill up my time with activities and hope for success that would glorify me and please others.  I would miss out on so much of my life that happens in between the lines of my "To-Do List."  The good stuff.  The random conversation with my oldest about having the courage to do what's right, even when his friends aren't doing the right thing.  The "one more hug, Mama" from Tyler that will become less and less voluntary this very year, as he is nearing 5 years old and Kindergarten.

I don't want to miss out!  So God gives me weakness.  And I can be at peace with those weaknesses, those hidden treasures in secret places.  Where I am forced to lean in and accept His help, His love, His schedule for my life.  And I have more time living the life He wants for me.  What a blessing!  What freedom!  What #peace!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2 Cor 12:9

 

Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Cor 12:10

 

I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.  Isa 45:3

 

 

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