Falling

There are a number of ways you can fall.  You can dive, like my B, when he is playing kickball, to catch the ball and get the other player out.  He did this earlier in the week and forgot he was on blacktop instead of grass.  Yeah.  Head to toe road rash on the left side.  His pinky looks like he was dragged down the street hanging out of a car.  Lots of band-aids needed.

 

You can fall like my Ty.  He will be standing beside me talking to me and all of a sudden he is on the ground.  We don't know how it happens.  Its not violent.  More due to a lack in ability to stand still.  He almost vibrates when he is telling me something.  Legs moving.  Little feet moving and then boom, on the ground.

 

My least favorite way to fall is in the dark when you are hurled headlong into the air, land on the ground and the momentum keeps you sliding forward until there is no skin left on your hands or knees.  The air hits the newly exposed nerves and it just hurts.  Then, if you are miles away from the house, you get to hobble home.  This was me the first, and last time I fell while running in the dark.  I had a lot of confidence running in the dark and used to go on out at 5am all the time.  I never fell or had a problem.  Then last year I ran through a patch of town where two street lights in a row were out and mistook a big fat curb for a curb cut and went hurling into the dark on my hands and knees.  It wasn't pretty.  And finally getting home and in the shower brought more pain.  I have some lovely scars leftover to remind me of my fall.

 

I don't run in the dark anymore.  And since its almost always dark at 5am and that's the only time I have to run, I don't run.

 

I don't like falling.  I can't imagine anyone does. 

 

For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.  Proverbs 24:16

 

A lot of times I fall in in other areas of my life and as the nerves are exposed to air, it just hurts.  I don't like hollering at my kids when my patience is worn thin.  I don't like turning to earthly things for comfort when I really should be praying for God to come fill me up.  I don't like slamming cabinets in the kitchen when I'm frustrated.  I get irritated at myself when I can't deal well with stress and pressure and I clam up.  But it happens.  And its not pretty. 

 

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; when he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the one who holds his hand.  Psalm 37:23-24

 

WHEN he falls.  Oh yes, I will fall.  I will fail.  But with God holding my hand, every fall doesn't have to be hurling headlong through the air.  And because I'm a little nutty and God likes to talk to me this way, it doesn't escape me that my bad fall was in the dark.  If we aren't holding God's hand and standing in His light, we are bound to have a way worse fall that may leave a lot more scars.  But in His light, we can fail forward and move on with confidence.

When falling makes me feel like a failure, I can boldly say #IAMNOT.

Linking up with Proverbs 31 ministries today.