I do not understand why wearing a shirt for the first time causes such tragic moments. Real tears, people. Boo hooing. "I don't want any cee-wul!" (cereal) Morning meltdown. Couldn't get out of him why the shirt was so offensive. It looked ok. Long sleeves are not something new. It had a monster truck on it. The tag was already cut out. No clue what the issue was, but it was a loud, tearful issue nevertheless.
Very frustrated today with willful sin. I have some sin in my life that I cannot seem to shake. Satan has his hold and he is really twisting the knife. I'm trying to figure out what the heart issue is here. Why I can't seem to get self-control in this area. Its Biblical, self-control, so I know it is possible. I find myself wondering if God is as tired of hearing me repent for this same thing as I am of hearing myself repent. Every morning starts off well, and then sometime in the afternoon/evening, I lose it. So so frustrating.
I want a 5 step process. I want a beginning and end date. But that is not really how perseverance is won. I wish I could see the end and know I get to conquer this. That would give me more confidence to keep trying. More trust that God is not giving up on me.
But I do know that God is already standing at the end. He is proud of me, seeing how I grew through all of this. So I have to trust him. And I do have a manual. Its God's word. I have decided to start reading it with the mindset of what he has to say about this issue of mine. I'm praying for clear heart to hear what he has to tell me through his truth and to APPLY it.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
No comments:
Post a Comment