The Task vs. The Heart

My Bible study this morning talked about how easy it is to become consumed by day to day busyness and miss out on really getting to know your kid's hearts.  Oh, how I am guilty of this!  Sometimes, when they are trying to tell me something, I am answering with, "ok, now please go feed the dogs (for the third time!)."  Granted, sometimes the little person being instructed is just trying to procrastinate doing the task at hand.  But a lot of times, I am telling them that the task trumps all.  Is that the message I really want to send?  That busyness is the correct way of life?  That I don't have time to stop and really listen to them because I need the To-Do List met.  Ugh.  I'm not liking that!

 

 

Is it more important that they brushed their teeth, made their beds, ate their vegetables?  Or is it more important that Ty let B have the big bowl of cereal since he knows B prefers it, or that B helped Ty put on his shirt when his head couldn't fine the right hole?

 

 

Of course teaching my boys responsibility is important and a huge part of parenting.  But I need to really watch the message I'm sending to them.  Its tough when we only have a few minutes in the morning and a few in the evening to teach them everything they need to know.  But making sure I stop and recognize their kindness or putting down the dishes so I can walk in and see just which matchbox car is faster, rather than saying "uh huh" from the other room; that shows my boys what's most important.

 

I asked God this morning to help me put aside the task list, just for today, and really focus on my boys hearts.  Not what they look like, act like, or talk like.  To push away from busyness and see the good that's happening right under my nose and between my barking instructions.

 

What I found?  That during the wrestling match going on while the boys get themselves dressed, I see two little ones learning how to be friends, making a brother connection that will last their whole lives, even when I'm gone.  As the noise stops and the whir of Crest Spin Brushes fills the hallway, I see a big brother helping a little brother rinse off his toothbrush and turn the light off for him.  If I wait long enough, through the argument over the remote downstairs, I see two brothers calm down and compromise while eating breakfast together.  I see a bigger explaining to the little a football play.  I see kindness.  I see them working things out in real life all by themselves.  I see God working in their little hearts.

 

 

 

 

 

When I slow down, and make enough whitespace for the days to go by a little slower, I can enjoy getting to know my little guys and watching them grow closer to God.  And that's much more important than making sure all of their clothes pins are moved to the "done" side of the chore chart.  Yes, the chore chart is an important part of their physical growth, but it has its rightful place and I want to make sure the heart issues come first!

 

 

Lysa Terkeurst says when we do this, "Perfection will seem much less important.  Your kids will feel secure knowing you care and want to know them on a heart level." 

 

Oh how I want this for my boys!  To make sure they know I love them, not just love what they accomplish.

 

 

Lord, I am definitely guilty of allowing life to get in the way and seeking perfection.  Especially in my kids.  I tend to look over the fact they are building brother bonds while I sit and watch the clock and fuss at them for not going faster.  Lord, help me to discern when its time to act and time to relax and let them be children together.  Help me not be so busy that I miss getting to know their little hearts.  Thank you for grace when I mess up.  Thank you for loving me anyway.  Help me show the same mercy to my kids.  Amen!

 

 

Linking up today with Courtney at Lil Light O'Mine!

 

#ONEBIGTRUTH

 

Teaching my children TASKS.

VS

Teaching my children's HEARTS.

 

 

 

Haybales, Apples and Goats, Oh My!

Saturday we headed up to the mountains for some apple-pick'in, goat-feed'in, hay-bale'in fun!  My sister and her sweet crew came up to hang out with us and we caravanned up route 231 through some beautiful farmland and mountain views.  One of the things I most love about living in Central Virginia is you can drive 2 hours east and be at the beach.  2 hours west and be in the mountains. 

 

 

 

I think my favorite part of the whole day was feeding those little goats.  They were precious.  I want one.  Maybe he could help J with all the grass cutting in the summer? 

 

 

I loved how they had little signs about the goats with their names and what kind they were.  The kids were calling them their "little super heros." 

 

Cosmo was my favorite.  He would stand up on the fence to get your attention.

 

Ty would see one of the goats by itself and say, "Mama, he is lonely."

 

The barn was only a 5 minute hike down the road from the festival.  Completely worth it.  Even with tired-no-nap-Ty.

 

Even though it was about 88 degrees and didn't feel very fall-ish, the leaves were still changing and the apples were ready for picking.  Sorry Mo, couldn't order you any fall weather this weekend.

 

Trying to be a good money-saving mama, I had packed us lunches and snacks and water bottles.  And yep, they were still in the cooler on the kitchen counter when we returned home late that afternoon.  I figured out I had forgotten the cooler about an hour and a half into the trip.  FAIL.  It took me a while to get over it.  We grabbed subs and chips at a gas station on the way up the mountain.  We still got to picnic outside with the Bluegrass playing, so I couldn't let it ruin my day.

 

 

Little butt trying to follow big brother.

 

A creek?  And rocks?  Yes, please!  B walked around the rest of the day with a soaking wet shoe.  My boys.

 

You can't see it very well, but my Ty is bravely wearing his wrist band that let him back into the hay bale maze.  He was not happy about this.  Ty has an aversion to wrist bands, stamps on the hand, vests with patches or anything else that has to be on his body.  I feel its a success in this challenge if he keeps his shirt on most of the day.

 

My crazy and cute little sis.

 

Look at that little sweaty head.

 

Yep, he's picking his nose.  And why I know I'm made to be a boy mom?  I died laughing about this for 10 straight minutes.

 

BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

They looks so OLD!

 

 

My little sweaty family.  So thankful!

Kickball at Grandma's

It was a normal Saturday for us.  We got up slow.  TV off at 9am, everyone cleaning the house for an hour or so and then off for a bike ride.  Sometimes we go to a park to play (Ty's bait to come with us) and sometimes we just enjoy our little town with its beautiful Victorian homes and constant train sightings.

 

We had some lunch, Ty took his nap, J went to cut grass, and then it happened.  B challenged yours truly to a game of kickball.  Heck yea!  On to Grandma's huge field we went!

 

That's my Grandmother and Granddad's cute house in the field.  They are my Mama's Backyardigans.

 

With Granddaddy refereeing for a bit, Ty and I vs. J and B.  Oh, its ON!  My little punks didn't believe Mama could kick!  We lost Ty well into the 5th inning.  He found a stick and started to threatened B when he tried to tag him out.  There was some sword fighting near the end of the game.

 

After Grandma called us in for supper, we were tied.  I think.  I lost count but B promises he counted correctly.  Hmmm.  I'll have to take his word for it.

 

Rematch!